This pioneering self-help book takes a close look at a topic that has been ignored or downplayed by other books on incest and childhood sexual abuse: that the non-perpetrating parent usually bears a great deal of responsibility for the child's abuse. In this examination of the complicated dynamics of abuse, the enabling mother is not treated as a victim, rather as an adult responsible for her failure to protect her child. Self-help exercises are interspersed with case histories and analytical material throughout the book, useful to both survivors and therapists.
Author(s): Audrey Ricker PhD
Publisher: See Sharp Press
Year: 2006
Language: English
Pages: 166
Copyright......Page 3
CONTENTS......Page 4
Introduction (Katherine Trimm)......Page 7
A Therapist’s Comment (Ophelia Zamora)......Page 14
An Attorney’s Comment (Sue Supp, Atty. at Law)......Page 16
Preface......Page 17
A Survivor’s Poem......Page 25
PART I — Childhood Trauma......Page 26
1. How Your Mother Treated You......Page 27
2. The Enabling Mother’s Matriarchal Status......Page 34
3. The Mother’s Control of the Survivor’s Feelings......Page 43
4. The Survivor’s Loyalty to the Mother......Page 48
5. The Mother’s Destruction of the Survivor’s Self-Esteem......Page 53
6. The Mother’s Emotional Alienation of the Survivor......Page 61
7. The Mother’s Scapegoating of the Survivor......Page 67
8. Resilience of the Enabling Mother......Page 72
9. The Enabling Mother’s Self-Image as a Good Parent......Page 75
10. The Survivor’s Relationship to the Perpetrator’s New Wives & Girlfriends......Page 81
11. Feeling Better......Page 85
PART II — Late Adolescent and Adult Trauma......Page 89
12. The Mother’s Role in Late Adolescent and Adult Sexual Trauma......Page 90
13. Lessons from the Case Histories......Page 105
14. Are You Still Suffering from Your Sexual Assault?......Page 108
PART III — Present and Future......Page 118
15. Are You Living with Rape and Incest?......Page 119
16. Multiple Personalities......Page 124
17. Acting Out......Page 131
18. When the Victim Becomes a Perpetrator......Page 138
19. Guilty Pleasures: When Something Bad Feels Good......Page 143
A Final Word......Page 149
Appendix A: Types of Help......Page 150
Appendix B: Recommended Reading & Viewing......Page 163
