The Awakened Family: How to Raise Empowered, Resilient, and Conscious Children

Also by the Author......Page 2
Title Page......Page 3
Copyright......Page 4
Dedication......Page 5
Contents......Page 6
The Mandate of the Awakened Family......Page 12
Part One: A New Awakening......Page 14
CHAPTER ONE: Learning a New Way......Page 15
The Roar of the Ego......Page 20
How Fear Drives Our Anxiety, Anger, and Other Reactions to Our Children......Page 22
The Part Played by Your Past......Page 25
Is It Your Child, or Is It You?......Page 26
How Our Children Are Our Awakeners......Page 28
A Shift of Focus......Page 31
CHAPTER TWO: How the Culture Sets Up Parents to Fail......Page 33
When Caring Feels Like Control......Page 34
The Clash of Time Zones......Page 36
What Children Really Need......Page 38
CHAPTER THREE: The Invisible Triggers of Our Reactivity......Page 41
The Roots of Our Triggers......Page 44
The Parental Kool-Aid......Page 46
Part Two: Our Parenting Myths......Page 50
The Problem with Child-Centric Parenting......Page 51
The Tyranny of “Too”......Page 54
Is Parenting Really an Unselfish Act?......Page 57
Dare to Raise Yourself First......Page 58
CHAPTER FIVE......Page 64
Agenda-Driven Fun......Page 65
The Curve Shows Up Everywhere......Page 67
The Double-Edged Sword of “Reaching for One’s Potential”......Page 69
The “Unpotentialized” Child......Page 71
Putting Things in Perspective......Page 73
CHAPTER SIX......Page 77
Is It Defiance or Defensiveness?......Page 80
Double Standards......Page 82
CHAPTER SEVEN......Page 85
Moving from the Fantasy of Parenting to Reality......Page 86
CHAPTER EIGHT......Page 90
Love Is Only a Beginning......Page 91
When Love Doesn’t Feel Like Love to a Child......Page 92
Rethinking Our Ideas About Love......Page 94
CHAPTER NINE......Page 98
Engaging Life “As Is”—Being Versus Doing......Page 101
Learning About Happiness from Children......Page 103
CHAPTER TEN......Page 106
Understanding the Limits of Our Control......Page 107
Reframing the Concept of Control in Order to Raise Real Humans......Page 109
Part Three: Understanding Our Reactivity......Page 113
CHAPTER ELEVEN: Raising the Real Child......Page 114
How I Began to Awaken......Page 115
Recognizing the Call of the Lost Self......Page 119
Befriending Our Lost Self......Page 120
Discovering Your Family’s Emotional Blueprint......Page 122
CHAPTER TWELVE: What’s Really Behind Our Reactions......Page 126
Typical Pathways for the Expression of Fear......Page 127
The Core of Our Fear......Page 129
Entering Trust, Abundance, and Empowerment......Page 150
CHAPTER THIRTEEN: Transforming Fear into Consciousness......Page 151
Emerging from the Shadows of the Past......Page 155
Letting Go of Fantasy Parents......Page 158
Separating Love from Fear......Page 161
A New Path Lights Up Ahead of Us......Page 164
Part Four: Transformative Parenting Skills......Page 167
CHAPTER FOURTEEN: From Expectations to Engagement......Page 168
The Problem with Well-Intentioned Expectations......Page 171
What’s the Unmet Expectation?......Page 173
Out of the Head and into the Heart......Page 175
The Dance of Nonduality......Page 177
The Freedom of Engaging......Page 179
Transforming Expectation into Engaging......Page 183
CHAPTER FIFTEEN: From Mindless Reaction to Mindful Presence......Page 186
Entering the Present Moment......Page 187
The Power of Impermanence......Page 190
The Abundance of the “As Is”......Page 192
Your Reaction Is Your Child’s Trigger......Page 197
Transforming Reaction to Authentic Expression......Page 200
CHAPTER SIXTEEN: From Chaos to Stillness......Page 205
The Power of Silence......Page 206
When Talking Creates Trouble—and the Value of Deep Listening......Page 209
Discovering the Power of Your Presence......Page 213
Making Time for Time......Page 215
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN: From Role to No-Role......Page 218
Tapping Into the Guidance of the Universe......Page 220
Entering the No-Role Zone: Insights from Nature......Page 221
The Power of the Antidote......Page 226
The Power of the Container......Page 227
Creating Rooms of Light......Page 229
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN: From Emotions to Feelings......Page 234
Creating a Direct Path to Feeling......Page 242
CHAPTER NINETEEN: From Enmeshment to Autonomy......Page 248
The Pitfall of Emotional Fusion......Page 251
Developing Emotional Autonomy......Page 252
Don’t Fear Dissent......Page 254
Embracing Pain......Page 256
CHAPTER TWENTY: From Judgment to Empathy......Page 258
What Empathy Really Means......Page 261
How to Empathically Address the Realities of Life......Page 266
Empathy Does Not Mean Collusion......Page 268
Decluttering Your Inner Landscape......Page 270
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE: From Discipline to Enlightened Boundaries......Page 273
You Cannot Set a Boundary You Don’t Have......Page 274
What’s the Higher Purpose of Your Boundary?......Page 276
Where Do Consequences and Punishment Fit In?......Page 279
The Power of Clear Limits and Boundaries......Page 281
The Mechanics of Holding a Limit......Page 283
How Do Natural and Logical Consequences Really Work?......Page 285
What’s Your Embodiment Quotient?......Page 289
Entering the Zone of Zero Hypocrisy......Page 292
Redefining Discipline......Page 295
Listening for the Untold Desire......Page 297
Moving Away from Blind Indulgence......Page 300
From Winning to Win-Win......Page 302
Ending Sibling Wars......Page 307
Subduing Divorce Drama......Page 309
Red Flag Alert: Getting on a New Highway......Page 311
The Courage to Be a Warrior of Peace......Page 312
EPILOGUE: Shedding Skin, Shedding Light......Page 314
APPENDIX: Thirty Daily Reminders to Build Consciousness......Page 316
Acknowledgments......Page 324
About the Author......Page 325