With wit, wisdom and uncommon sense, Dr. Harriet Lerner gives readers the tools to solve problems and create joy, meaning and integrity in their relationships. Women will find Life Preservers (more than 40,000 copies sold in hardcover) to be an invaluable motivational guide that covers the landscape of work and creativity, anger and intimacy, friendship and marriage, children and parents, loss and betrayal, sexuality and health and much more.
With new insights and a results-oriented approach, Dr. Lerner answers women’s most frequently asked questions and offers the best advice for problems women face today:
I always pick the wrong guys. Should I move in with him? I can’t stand my boss. Should I leave my marriage? How can I recover from his affair? Is my fantasy abnormal? Is my therapy working? I miss my mother. I can’t believe I was fired.
Author(s): Harriet Lerner
Edition: HarperPerennial ed
Publisher: Harper Paperbacks
Year: 1997
Language: English
Pages: 372
Cover Image......Page 1
Title Page......Page 3
Dedication Page......Page 4
Contents......Page 5
To My Readers......Page 13
Part One: Mr. Right and Mr. Wrong......Page 17
Introduction......Page 19
My Boyfriend Won’t Talk About Problems......Page 22
Is He Having an Affair?......Page 24
What Is Intimacy?......Page 27
Why Can’t I Find Mr. Right?......Page 29
Is He the One?......Page 31
My Fiancé Has a Violent Temper......Page 33
Should I Lie to Keep Him?......Page 36
He Won’t Commit......Page 37
I Always Pick the Wrong Guys......Page 40
He Won’t Wear a Condom......Page 42
What If He Says No?......Page 45
My Fiancé Collects Pornography......Page 46
He Wants to See Other People......Page 48
My Boyfriend Isn’t Generous......Page 50
Should I Move In with Him?......Page 52
Do I Take His Last Name?......Page 54
My Boyfriend Is Bisexual......Page 56
He Hates Spending Time with My Friends and Family......Page 58
My Fiancé Doesn't Like Sex......Page 60
Part Two: Mending the Mind, Body, and Spirit......Page 63
Introduction......Page 65
I’ve Never Had an Orgasm......Page 68
Should I Find Out My IQ?......Page 71
I’m So Self-Conscious......Page 73
I’m Not Sure My Therapy Is Working......Page 75
Living with Chronic Illness......Page 77
I Just Can’t Say No!......Page 79
I’m Ashamed to Undress in the Locker Room......Page 82
Am I Codependent?......Page 84
I’m Afraid I’m a Lesbian......Page 85
My Doctor Hugs Me......Page 87
Help! I’m Too Gorgeous!......Page 88
Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell......Page 90
Can We Cause Our Own Cancer?......Page 93
Is My Fantasy Abnormal?......Page 96
Should I Pretend to Be Happy?......Page 97
I Trusted My Doctor......Page 99
Should I Quit Group Therapy?......Page 101
My Abortion Haunts Me......Page 103
Sugar Pills......Page 105
Part Three: Friendship Matters......Page 107
Introduction......Page 109
Am I Too Needy?......Page 112
My Friend Is Dating a Jerk......Page 114
Lending Money to a Friend......Page 116
A Friend in a Wheelchair......Page 119
I’m Jealous of Her Success......Page 120
My Friend Isn’t There for Me When I'm Down......Page 122
Angry with Fat Friend......Page 124
She Always Betrays My Confidence......Page 126
I’m the Only One Who Can Help......Page 127
My Best Friend Is Jealous......Page 129
Starting a Women’s Group......Page 131
Have I Sold Out?......Page 134
To Lift or Not to Lift......Page 136
She Said/She Said......Page 137
Can’t Take a Compliment......Page 139
What’s Wrong with Giving Advice?......Page 141
How Can I Win My Friends Back?......Page 143
Part Four: Women at Work......Page 145
Introduction......Page 147
How Much Do You Make?......Page 150
I Can’t Believe I Was Fired......Page 153
When the Lady Is Boss......Page 154
My Boss Is Too Critical......Page 156
I’m So Humiliated......Page 158
Is Volunteer Work a Good Thing?......Page 160
Minding Our Business......Page 162
I Can’t Stand My Supervisor......Page 164
I’m Attracted to a Colleague......Page 166
Are Women Just a Bunch of Whiners?......Page 167
My Employee Has a Bad Attitude......Page 168
I’m Paralyzed by Criticism......Page 170
I’m a Homemaker and Proud of it......Page 172
Promotion Anxiety......Page 174
Part Five: No Place Like Home......Page 177
Introduction......Page 179
My Brother’s Gay—and I’m Worried......Page 182
My Mother Wants to Live with Me......Page 184
My Sister Won’t Quit Smoking......Page 187
Coping with a Suicide in the Family......Page 189
Should I Cross Dad Off My Wedding List?......Page 191
A Helping Hand......Page 193
I Miss My Mother......Page 194
My Brother-in-Law Made a Pass at Me......Page 196
My Distant Dad......Page 198
Is My Sister a Lesbian?......Page 201
My Parents Can’t Stand My Boyfriend......Page 204
A Death in the Family......Page 206
My Sister’s Husband Is Abusive......Page 209
Going Solo......Page 212
False Promises......Page 214
Keeping a Secret......Page 216
My Mother Is Driving Me Crazy......Page 219
The Power of the Unconscious......Page 222
Is It Weird to Plan Your Own Funeral?......Page 224
Part Six: Then Comes Marriage......Page 227
Introduction......Page 229
My Husband Betrayed Me......Page 234
Premenstrual Syndrome or Premenstrual Sanity?......Page 237
My Husband Is Jealous of My Therapist......Page 240
I’m Monogamous, He Isn’t......Page 242
I’m Not Mrs. Smith!......Page 244
My Husband Left Me for a Man......Page 246
I’m White, He’s Black......Page 250
I Love the Guy, but the Sex Is Terrible......Page 253
My Impossible Mother-in-Law......Page 255
Can a Vibrator Harm My Sex Life?......Page 258
My Doctor Says I’m Depressed......Page 259
I’m More Successful Than My Husband......Page 262
What Should We Name the Baby?......Page 265
I’m Not a Failure......Page 268
Choosing to Be Childless......Page 269
Should I Stay or Should I Go?......Page 270
Part Seven: Parents in Recovery......Page 273
Introduction......Page 275
Do I Have to Breast-Feed My Baby?......Page 279
Adoption and Self-Esteem......Page 281
Does My Son Need a Man in the House?......Page 284
Helping a Child with Divorce......Page 286
Should We Allow Our Teenager to Bring Pornography Home?......Page 288
Should We Let Our Son Sleep in Our Bed?......Page 290
Talking to Children About Illness and Death......Page 292
Breaking a Promise......Page 294
Our Son Says He’s Gay......Page 295
I’m Indulgent and He’s Too Strict......Page 297
Is It Ever OK to Lie to a Child......Page 298
We’re All the Same on the Inside......Page 300
Introducing an Adopted Child......Page 303
Telling Children Secrets......Page 304
Can Single Mothers Raise Boys?......Page 306
Why Do Adopted Children Search?......Page 307
Is It Really All My Fault?......Page 308
A Bereaved Child......Page 311
I Can’t Stop Worrying About My Daughter......Page 313
Part Eight: The World We Love In......Page 315
Introduction......Page 317
Girls, Ladies, or Women? Does It Matter?......Page 320
Is Hope Possible in This Violent World?......Page 322
Avoiding the F Word......Page 323
Color Does Matter......Page 325
Closets Are for Clothes......Page 327
Are Women Too Dependent?......Page 329
Women Who Read Too Much......Page 330
Are Women 50 Percent to Blame for Sexism?......Page 333
My Husband Has a Persecution Complex......Page 335
Tired of the Victim Mentality......Page 337
Whose Truth Counts?......Page 340
Finding the Right Therapist......Page 342
Hurt by Racial Prejudice......Page 344
I’m Uncomfortable Excluding Men......Page 346
Am I an Addict?......Page 348
Happy Mother’s Day......Page 350
Acknowledgments......Page 353
About the Author......Page 356
By The Author......Page 357
Credits......Page 358
Copyright Notice......Page 359
About the Publisher......Page 360
