This book argues that new parents are caught in an uncomfortable crossfire between two competing discourses: those around ideal relationships and those around ideal parenting. The author suggests that parents are pressured to be equal partners while also being asked to parent their children intensively, in ways markedly more demanding of mothers. Reconciling these ideals has the potential to create resentment and disappointment. Drawing on research with couples in London as they became parents, the book points to the social pressures at play in raising the next generation at material, physiological and cultural levels. Chapters explore these levels through concrete practices: birth, feeding and sleeping—three of the most highly moralised areas of contemporary parenting culture.
Author(s): Charlotte Faircloth
Publisher: Palgrave Macmillan
Year: 2021
Language: English
Pages: 164
City: Cham
Preface
Acknowledgements
Contents
About the Author
List of Figures
Chapter 1: Introduction
Relationships End, But Children Are ‘Forever’
Overview
Vignette 1: Anthony and Claudia
References
Part I: Context
Introduction to Part I
References
Chapter 2: Theoretical Context
Couple Relationships and Ideals of Equality
Contemporary Parenting Culture
Motherhood and Moralisation
Different Performances of the Cultural Script
Gender
Class
Cultural Variation
Children at Risk
The Many Methods of Raising Children Intensively
Parenting, Gender and the State
So What Does Equality Mean in Practice?
Parenting Between Ideal and Reality
References
Chapter 3: Political and Methodological Context
Political Context
Methodology
Introducing the Couples
Vignette 2: Laura and James
References
References
Part II: Practice
Birth, Eating and Sleeping
References
Chapter 4: Birth
Birth as an Analytical Object
Great Expectations
…Shattered
Birth Stories, Identity Work and Relationships
Conclusion
References
Chapter 5: Feeding
Infant Feeding and Moralisation
Physicality and Embodiment of Intensive Parenting
Material Barriers to ‘Equal’ Parenting
Rethinking Gender Roles: Gay Couples and Parenting Culture
Breastfeeding, Relationship Deadlock and the Impossibility of ‘Support’
References
Chapter 6: Sleeping
Thinking About Sleep
The Sleep Diaries
Taking Turns
Intimacy and Sex
Intimacy and Inequality: Embodying Difference
Mutual Understanding
Less Equality, Less Intimacy?
Equality, Individualism and Intimacy
Conclusions
Vignette 3: Ellen and Max
References
Chapter 7: Conclusion
Equality and Intimacy: Uncomfortable Bedfellows?
Iterations of Equality
Equality as Sharing the Worry?
The Quality of Quality Time
Family Life and a Relational Perspective
Equality and Individualism
Conclusion: Escaping the ‘Parent Trap’?
References
Author Index
Subject Index
