Confronting taboos and misunderstandings about sexuality and aging, Couple Sexuality After 60: Intimate, Pleasurable, and Satisfying motivates couples to embrace sex and sexuality in their 60s, 70s, and 80s. The book busts two extreme myths―that people over 60 cannot and should not be sexual and that the best way to be sexual is to emphasize eroticism, using sex toys, and "kinky sex".
Using a variable, flexible approach to couple sexuality based on the Good Enough Sex (GES) model, this book places the essence of sexuality in pleasure-oriented touching, not individual sex performance. Barry and Emily McCarthy introduce a new sexual mantra of "desire/pleasure/eroticism/satisfaction" with the goal of presenting a healthy model of sexuality to replace the traditional double standard that couples learn in young adulthood. Specific chapters focus on important areas like coming to terms with the new normal, female–male sexual equity, satisfaction being about more than intercourse and orgasm, valuing synchronous and asynchronous sexuality, psychobiosocial approaches to sexuality, and more.
In addition to aging heterosexual couples, single individuals and queer couples will find this book interesting. Additionally, sexual health clinicians and sex therapists with clients over the age of 60 will find this a fascinating read.
Author(s): Barry McCarthy, Emily McCarthy
Publisher: Routledge
Year: 2021
Language: English
Pages: 196
City: London
Cover
Endorsement
Half Title
Title Page
Copyright Page
Table of Contents
1 Confronting Myths About Sexuality and Aging
Who We Are and the Format of this Book
Summary
2 Embracing the New Normal: Variable, Flexible Couple Sexuality
The Challenges and Benefits of the New Normal
The Role of Afterplay in the New Normal
Is Variable, Flexible Couple Sexuality Better than Autonomous, Predictable Sex?
Summary
3 Sexuality is More than Intercourse: Challenge, Not Loss
Affirming Pleasure-oriented Touching
Female Sexual Pain with Intercourse
Valuing Sexuality Without Intercourse
Summary
4 Good Enough Sex (GES): Roles, Meanings, and Outcomes
GES and Aging
Gendered Challenges in Implementing GES
GES in Context
Summary
5 Female–Male Sexual Equity: Being Intimate and Erotic Friends
Female–Male Sexual Equity
Relational Equity and Sexual Equity
Female–Male Sexual Equity
Do Not Take Sexual Equity for Granted
Summary
6 Desire is the Key: Reinforcing Sexual Anticipation
Positive, Realistic Sexual Expectations
Responsive Sexual Desire for Women and Men
Maintaining Desire When Intercourse and Orgasm Are Lessened
Summary
7 Satisfaction: More than Orgasm
Individual, Relational, and Sexual Dimensions of Satisfaction
The Paradox of Sexual Satisfaction
Dealing with Dissatisfying or Dysfunctional Encounters
Pride in Beating the Odds and Affirming Couple Sexuality
Summary
8 Naked at Our Age: the Challenge of Integrated Eroticism
The Core of Eroticism for Couples over 60
The Three Styles of Arousal/eroticism
Erotic Challenges for Women
Erotic Challenges for Men
Summary
9 Couple Sexuality: Valuing Synchronous and Asynchronous Sexuality
The Joys of Synchronous Sex
The Joys of Asynchronous Sexuality
The Tyranny of Synchronous Sexual Demands
The Traps of Asynchronous Sex
Summary
10 A Pill Can’t do it all: A Psychobiosocial Approach to Sex
Couple Consultation with a Primary Care Physician or Specialist
The Most Common Problem—Erectile Dysfunction (ED)
Valuing the Psychobiosocial Approach Rather Than a Stand-alone Biomedical Intervention
Adopting the Psychobiosocial Model for Sexuality and Aging
Summary
11 Sexually, One Size Never Fits All: Differences and Diversity
Gay, Lesbian, Asexual, and Bisexual+
Lesbian Couples
Bisexual+ Individuals and Couples
Claiming Your Atypical Sexual Voice
Gender Fluidity
Dealing with Hidden Agendas and Manipulation
Summary
12 Illness and Disability: Don’t Let It Control Your Sexuality
Aspects of Illness and Disability
Consultation with a Medical Specialist
Chronic Medical Conditions
Summary
13 Sexuality for Singles: Enjoying Your Sexual Self
Accepting Being Single
Non-relational Sexuality
The Value of Masturbation
The Value of Relational Sexuality
Special Challenges for Aging Single Women
Special Issues with Aging Single Men
Making Wise Psychological, Relational, and Sexual Decisions
Summary
14 Celebrating Sexuality and Aging
Female–male Sexual Equity
Five Dimensions of Touching
Accepting Your Sexual Past and Celebrating Your Sexual Future
Positive, Realistic Sexual Expectations
Summary
Appendix A: Choosing a Sex, Couple, or Individual Therapist
Appendix B: Suggested Readings
References
