Being a Great Dad for Dummies

Title Page
Copyright Page
Table of Contents
Introduction
About This Book
Foolish Assumptions
Icons Used in This Book
Where to Go from Here
Part 1 From Here to Paternity: Conception to Birth
Chapter 1 Fatherhood
Imagining the Dad You Want to Be
Dispelling Common Myths about Fatherhood
Knowing What Really to Expect
Understanding the dad experience
The pros and cons of fatherhood
Letting go of best laid plans
Trading in your lifestyle (but not the sports gear)
Only Fools Rush In
Hey, I’m not ready for this
My partner wants a baby
Timing isn’t always everything
Introducing the New-Generation Dad
Dadhood: A good time to man up
Exploring care routine strategies
The Seven Habits of Highly Successful Dads
Help, I’m a Dad!
Asking for directions
Finding trusted organisations and sources of information
Internet research
Turning to friends, colleagues and family
Starting a dad group
Savouring dadhood
Chapter 2 Getting Pregnant
Here Comes the Fun Part
Getting consent — and getting sexy
Understanding the stages of sex
Checking in and asking for consent
Understanding your partner’s build-up
Knowing your partner’s body
Conceiving naturally
Improving the odds — pregnancy tips and tricks
Conception’s not happening
Understanding What Can Go Wrong
Working out why conception hasn’t happened
Exploring other ways to get pregnant
Wow! You’re Going to Be a Dad
Getting confirmation
Knowing what to do next
Choosing a carer
Things to do before morning sickness starts
Chapter 3 Pregnancy: A Drama in Three Acts
Act One: The First Trimester
Eating enough to make a baby
Dealing with common side effects in the first trimester
Morning sickness
Exhaustion
Heightened sense of smell
Tender breasts
Moodiness
Finding out what your baby’s up to
Act Two: The Second Trimester
Enjoying the golden trimester
Understanding more medical stuff
Dealing with common side effects in the second trimester
Finding out what your baby’s up to now
Act Three: The Third Trimester
Looking into childbirth classes
The birth plan
Making choices about the birth
Understanding even more medical stuff
Dealing with common side effects in the third trimester
Preparing for Project Push — are we there yet?
Chapter 4 Preparing for a Baby in the House
Getting the Right Gear
Clothes and shoes
Toys
Strollers, prams and buggies
Car seats
Other accessories
Making Room for the Baby
The nursery
Somewhere to sleep
Somewhere to be changed and dressed
Somewhere to store clothes
Bits and bobs
Decorations
Animals in the house
Finding the Right Consumables
Nappies
Crème de la crèmes
Shopping for your baby’s health and first aid
Checking Off Final Items
Transport
The hospital bag(s)
What the parents need during the birth
What mum needs after the birth
What bub needs after the birth
Checklists
Chapter 5 Birth
The Final Countdown
Discovering what you need to know about labour
Understanding your role in labour
Getting ready — last minute preparations
Action!
When you think you’re in labour
When you’re really in labour
Helping Your Partner through Childbirth
Offering supporting during the latent phase
Ramping up into active phase and then second stage
Being calm in the eye of the transition storm
Remembering it’s not about you
Giving nature a helping hand
Ventouse
Forceps
Emergency caesarean
The Big Moment’s Arrived
Cutting the cord
When time stops — meeting your baby
Keeping your cool
Welcoming Your Baby to the Real World
What happens immediately after birth
The first few hours
The first few days
Meconium
Going home
Blues
Part 2 The First Year
Chapter 6 Being Dad to a Newborn
Dealing with the Aftershock
It’s life but not as you know it
At home with your newborn baby
Hierarchies at home
You’ve got the blues
Looking after a Newborn
Getting your hands dirty
Nappy changing 101
Bathing
Dressing
Feeding
Breast or formula?
Bottle feeding
How much and when?
Burping
Sleeping – you and the baby
Teaching your baby about night and day
Settling your baby
Swaddling
Crying — you, your partner and the baby
Daddy time
Juggling Your Other Priorities
Making time for yourself
Looking after your partner
We are family
Managing the work–life balance
Sex
Chapter 7 The First Three Months
Getting to Know Your Baby
Groundhog day
Practical solutions to common problems
Jaundice
Wind
Colic or infantile colic
Cradle cap
Reflux
Colds
Infant acne
Nappy rash
Teething
Skin irritations and scratching
Non-trivial care jobs
Hands-on Dad
Baby massage
Baby activities
Keeping baby safe and sound
Your Baby’s Development
Growth and weight
Hearing, sight, taste, smell and touch
Hearing
Sight
Smell and taste
Touch
Your baby’s amazing brain
Male and Female Postnatal Depression
Do you feel like screaming?
Support organisations
Chapter 8 Months Three to Six
Your Growing Baby
Baby’s new tricks
New challenges for dads
Experiencing postnatal depression
Helping your partner survive postnatal depression
Dealing with sleep deprivation
Missing out when you’re at work
New adventures for dads
Adjusting to your baby’s changing needs
Looking a bit famished?
The same old routine?
Toys, toys and more toys
Getting On with Life
Out and about with your baby
Strollers and buggies
Slings and baby carriers
Travelling by car
Finding activities to do with your baby
Baby-proofing the house
Wading through the necessary paperwork
Insurance
Savings accounts
Tax and benefits
Wills and guardians
Immunisation records
Doing things together: You’re still a couple
Leaving Your Baby with Others
Family and friends
Nannies
Babysitters
Day care centres
In-home care or family day care
Chapter 9 Months Six to Twelve
Keeping Up with Baby
Your baby’s changing diet
Don’t forget the toothbrush
Your little explorer
The routines, they’re a-changing
Discipline
You’re good at this
Playtime with Daddy
Sitting, crawling, walking
Talking the talk
Staying safe in the water
Playgroups
Toys you already own
Here Come Some Milestones
Preparing to return to work
Going on holiday
Driving
Flying
Wow, that’s strange: Addressing your concerns
Father knows best
Teething
How time flies
One today!
Part 3 The Toddler Years
Chapter 10 Toddling Towards Two: Months 12–24
Hey, You’ve Got a Toddler Now
Sleeping update
Eating update
Health update
Safety update
Need-Supportive Fathering
A Busy Year for Your Little One
Toddler development
Say ‘daddy’
Dad, I need a wee
It’s All about Me, Dad!
Understanding discipline
Tantrums, biting and hitting
Tantrums
Hurting others
Sharing — what a nice idea
Setbacks
Chapter 11 Charging Towards Three: Months 24–36
Exploring the World with Dad
Your toddler on screens
Developing skills and confidence
Swapping praise for gratitude
Fun and games
Some words for worried mums
This Kid Keeps Getting Better!
Development update
Giving your toddler choices
Setting boundaries and rules to match
Understanding why kids have such big tantrums
Talking to your child so he understands
Exploring Different Opportunities
The fathering road less travelled
Next stop — kindergarten
Chapter 12 Making More Babies: Brothers and Sisters
Having Another Child
Is having another child worth it?
What to expect
Budgeting and finance
Looking after Another Family Member
Taking a practical approach
Keeping two or more healthy and safe
Juggling activities
Working on Sibling Discipline
Understanding sibling rivalry
Coping with jealousy and fighting
Fighting and setting boundaries
Discovering different personalities
Part 4 The Preschool Years
Chapter 13 Fun and Games
Your Active Preschooler
Mapping the next two years
Building self-sufficiency and self-esteem
Praise
Active movement
Classes
Father worries
Keeping Your Preschooler Busy
‘Dad, I’m bored’
Bad weather busters
Bringing out your child’s talents without going OTT
Being a good sport
The great outdoors
Lifelong Learning Starts Here
Fathers as first teachers
Kindergarten happiness
Learning objectives
Learning for the whole family
Chapter 14 Health and Nutrition
Food, Nutritious Food
Cooking and baking for busy dads
Avoiding the wrong foods
Introducing different foods
Leading by example
Curbing fussy eaters
Coping with special dietary requirements
What is an allergy?
How do you manage an allergy?
Vegetarian children
Keeping Up the Exercise
Getting your child (and yourself) into exercise
Working-out routines
Practising yoga and meditation
Preparing for Common Health Problems
Childhood illnesses
Bronchiolitis
Chickenpox
Common cold
Conjunctivitis
Ear infection
Gastroenteritis
Meningitis
Pneumonia
Tonsillitis
Whooping cough
Immunisation
Recurring health problems: Where to from here?
Alternative medicines and remedies
Child obesity: Honey, we’re spoiling the kid
A word on health insurance
Chapter 15 Education
Exploring Education Philosophies
Getting your head around education choices
Alternative education philosophies
Montessori
Waldorf/Rudolf Steiner
Private versus public
Same-sex versus co-ed
School Begins This Summer
Preparing for school
Checklist: Things kids need to know
Homework with dad
Special dads for additional needs
When schools don’t meet your expectations
Complementary Education
Languages
Music
Sport
Part 5 What Happens When
Chapter 16 Stay-at-Home Dad
Daddy’s in Da House
Debunking some myths about guys as primary caregivers
Coping with your new career
Getting organised
My Daddy Just Cares for Me
Upskilling
Building healthy bodies and active minds
Keeping mum in the loop
Working from home
Catching Up with Other Dads
Networking as a SAHD
Being the only guy in the room
Chapter 17 Serious Illness and Losing Your Baby
Avoiding Health Problems
Protecting against diseases
Providing a violence-free home
Keeping accidents at bay
Creating a healthy start to life
Avoiding risks during pregnancy
Encouraging breastfeeding
Birth options to reduce the risk of fatality
Home birth
Caesarean birth
Reducing the risk of SUDI and SIDS
Coping with Illness and Injury
Spotting injury
Emergency phone numbers
First aid kit
Diagnosing a serious illness
Preparing for the End
Taking care till the end
Where to care for your little one
Hospices
Home
Letting family and friends know
Seeking help
Dealing with the Unthinkable
What to do, what not to do
Saying goodbye
Is there such a thing as ‘moving on’?
Chapter 18 Disabilities, Disorders and Special Conditions
What Is a Disability, Anyway?
Knowing when something is wrong with your baby
Physical disabilities
Intellectual disabilities
Multiple disabilities
Getting formal confirmation
What comes next?
Help, My Child Has Additional Needs!
Adjusting your expectations
Finding help, assistance and resources
Working with Disabilities and Additional Needs
Caring for your special baby
Getting help from health professionals
Living with a disability
Changing your lifestyle
Sharing the love
Chapter 19 Divorce and Separation
Marriage on the Rocks!
What you can do
What you can both do
Where to go if all fails
Splitting Up
Moving out of the family home
Understanding the divorce process
Making separation easier on your children
You’re not just another statistic
Finding good support
Separating being a husband from being a father
Remembering You’re Still Dad
Who’ll look after the kids?
Being a remote or part-time father
Understanding contact arrangements
Paying child support
Seeking guardianship of your children
Getting advice
Counselling and support
Finding a lawyer
Becoming the Primary Caregiver
Getting to grips with being a primary caregiver
Supporting your children’s mother
Seeking help and assistance
Financial help
Getting out and about
Personal help
Having fun
Introducing a New Partner
Talking about a new partner to your children
Meet and greet
Getting remarried
Part 6 The Part of Tens
Chapter 20 Ten Ways to Improve Your Partner’s Pregnancy
Take Care of Your Lady
Get on the Wagon
Give Your Partner Some ‘Me’ Time Every Now and Then
Be There for the Medical Stuff
Get with the Program
Go on a Babymoon
Be Excited about Becoming a Dad
Celebrate!
Record That Beautiful Belly
Tell Her You Love Her
Chapter 21 Ten Ways Dads Build Baby’s — and Family’s — Wellbeing
Get Skin to Skin
Work on Your Baby Talk
Sing
Play
Feed
Bathe
Sleep
Pray
Be Still
Love Your Baby’s Mum
Chapter 22 Ten Ways to Engage with a Toddler
Obstacle Course
Get Handy
Playing Chase and Tag
Jigsaws
Balloons
Balls
Water Games
Art
Reading
Stacking Blocks and Building
Glossary
Index
EULA