Everything you've ever wanted to know about how to have a threesome—plus everything you'd never think to ask! The Ultimate Guide to Threesomes will teach you how to have ethical, consensual encounters that give pleasure to everyone involved. Fantasy exploration, finding threesome partners, making your dreams come true—sex educator Stella Harris guides you through the whole process. You'll also find plenty of positions and scenarios for beginners and veterans alike, plus information about safer sex and aftercare. And if you want threesomes to stay a fantasy? That's okay too!
This book teaches how to use threesomes in dirty talk and role play. Whether you're just starting out on your threesome journey, or you've been having threesomes for years, you'll find something here to suit your needs. Harris is used to hearing, "Wow, I never thought of that!"—what new ideas will you find in these pages?
Author(s): Harris, Stella
Publisher: Cleis Press
Year: 2021
Language: English
Commentary: Everything you've ever wanted to know about how to have a threesome—plus everything you'd never think to ask!
Pages: 276
Tags: Everything you've ever wanted to know about how to have a threesome—plus everything you'd never think to ask!
INTRODUCTION
Who Is This For/Language
Philosophy
Personal Stories
CHAPTER 1 DEFINITIONS
How Do You Define Sex?
What “Counts” as a Threesome?
Thinking Beyond the Standard
The Myth of the Organic Threesome
Missing the Mark
What Threesomes Are, And Are Not, For
CHAPTER 2 THREESOMES IN CULTURE
Threesomes on Screen
Threesomes in Porn
Historical Threesomes
CHAPTER 3 WHY ARE PEOPLE INTO MULTIPERSON PLAY?
Let Me Count the Ways
Lots of Stimulation
Voyeurism and Exhibitionism
Cuckolding
Exploration of New Bodies and New Dynamics
Specific Fantasies
Arousal Feedback Loop
Taboo
Exploring Sexuality
Simple Curiosity
Why Do YOU Want a Threesome?
Challenging Cultural Assumptions
CHAPTER 4 ARE THREESOMES FOR YOU?
Check In with Yourself
Quiz/Checklist
How Do You Feel Your Feelings?
CHAPTER 5 BABY STEPS TO EXPLORE THREESOMES
Exploration
Nonsexual Nudity
Strip Clubs
Sex Parties
Virtual Threesomes
CHAPTER 6 EXPLORING WITHOUT OTHER PEOPLE
Threesomes as Fantasy
Dirty Talk
Erotica and Porn
Sex Toys
CHAPTER 7 WHEN THERE’S AN EXISTING COUPLE
What Is a Couple?
Couple’s Privilege
Starting the Conversation
How Much Time Are You Dedicating?
Relationship Agreements
Have a Practice Negotiation
How to Avoid the Pitfalls of Unicorn Hunting
What About Other Couples?
Seeing a Professional
Face Your Fears
CHAPTER 8 UNICORN TIPS
A Unicorn Tale
Why Unicorn?
How To Go Couple Hunting
How To Screen a Couple
Advocating for Yourself
Red and Yellow Flags
CHAPTER 9 THREESOME INTERLUDE
The Threesome That Didn’t Happen (Yet)
CHAPTER 10 HOW DO SEXUALITIES ALIGN?
How Will People Combine?
Don’t Fake It
The Assumptions
Other Gender and sexuality Configurations
No, All Women Aren’t Bi
Considerations with Two straight Men
CHAPTER 11 HOW TO MEET PEOPLE FOR THREESOMES
Becoming a Threesome Person
Becoming a Threesome Couple
Avoiding Culture Clash
What Are You Looking For?
Existing Friend(s) or someone new?
Three solo Folks
Clubs and Public Parties
Cruises and Retreats
Private Parties
Classes
Polyamory Meet-ups
Think outside the Box
But What Do You say?
CHAPTER 12 THREESOME INTERLUDE
Parallel Play
CHAPTER 13 ONLINE DATING/APP OPTIONS
Which sites or Apps to Use
Profile Pictures
Profile Language
Couples’ Profile Logistics
Word Choice
First Messages and Beyond
Send nudes?
CHAPTER 14 NEGOTIATION
Expectations, Boundaries, and Limits
Avoiding “Rules”
Turn-Ons and Turn-Offs
Logistics
Taking Breaks
Power Dynamics
Intoxication
Play Party Negotiation
Privacy
CHAPTER 15 THREESOME SCENARIOS AND TIPS
First Meetings
Getting the Party Started
Three-Way Massage
Focusing on Inclusion
Center of Attention
Check-Ins During Play
Selfishness and Generosity
Plan for a Second Threesome
Imbalance of Attraction
Giving Lessons
Sex Games
Toys, Props, and Supplies
Making Sure Everyone Is Satisfied
The End of the Night
Engaging in New Kinds of Sex
CHAPTER 16 POSITIONS
The Nitty-Gritty
Sweet Kisses
Mutual Masturbation—For Three
Side by Side
Doggy Plus Oral
Doggy Sandwich
Spit Roast
Eiffel Tower
Double Penetration
Double Straddle
Tag Team
Double Oral
The Oral Switch
Oral Sex Train
Daisy Train
Chain Link
The Math Equation
The Reverse Straddle +
Spoons
Bukkake
The Voyeur
The Handmaiden
Taking Turns
CHAPTER 17 BDSM AND THREESOMES
How Does Kink Affect a Threesome?
Roles and Power Structures
Kink Parties
Shaking Up Couples’ Dynamics
Possible Combinations
Good Guy/Bad Guy
Kinky Threesome
CHAPTER 18 PERFORMANCE ISSUES
Don’t Count on an Erection!
Don’t Expect an Orgasm
Skill Set Anxiety
Comparisons and Insecurities
CHAPTER 19 THREESOME INTERLUDE
The Surprise Threesome
CHAPTER 20 SAFER SEX
Having the Talk
Build Your Conversation
Multiple Players, Multiple Boundaries?
Barriers and Supplies
Safety Tips
CHAPTER 21 COMMON PITFALLS
Unexpected Feelings
Safer-sex slipups
Jealousy Threesome
Missing Communication
Jealousy
Crossed Boundaries
Treating People Like Merit Badges
CHAPTER 22 FLEXIBILITY, IMPROVISATION, AND HAVING A PLAN B
Be Flexible
Restrictions and Changes Are a Blessing
CHAPTER 23 MORE THAN A THREESOME?
Triads/thrupples
Steady Play Partners
Swinging/Partner swap
Group sex
CHAPTER 24 AFTERCARE
What Is Aftercare?
Check-Ins with All Parties
Post-threesome Dates
Reconnection time If there’s an Existing Couple
Be gentle with Yourself
GLOSSARY
RESOURCES
THREESOME YES/NO/MAYBE LIST
ENDNOTES
