Are you young, eager, smart, and heading off to LA to make it big in the entertainment business? Time for a reality check: Leave your diploma at home, put your grandiose dreams on hold (where hopefully they'll get tired and hang up), and start by repeating the first rule of the industry: Who you work for is more important than who you are. Then leapfrog over everyone else by reading The Hollywood Assistants Handbook.
Written by two very sharp and successful assistants to HPPs (Hollywood Power Players), here are 86 lessons packed with a combination of blunt truth, insider humor, and juicy secrets that explain the unwritten rules of how to get a foot in the door and make all the right moves as you climb to the top. Here are the minimum-wage jobs that will put you in the path of HPPs. An annotated resume roundup. The clubs to frequent and the cocktails to order. Movies to watch and books to read (it's called homework). Dressing do's and don'ts. How to get on the Free List. A lineup of boss genres—the Horror Show, the Romantic Comedy, Mr. Action—and how to dodge the tirades that will soon be hurled your way, along with the proper outlets for venting. Plus, the ins and outs of your most important tool, the telephone—when to listen in (always!), who to put through and who to put off, and your new best friend forever, the Plantronics CS70 cordless headset.
With its hilariously snarky tone—the gate-keeping quiz is "How to Tell if You're a Moron Who Should Pack Up the Corolla and Move Back Home"—The Hollywood Assistants Handbook is as baldly entertaining for everyone who loves reading about Hollywood as it is indispensably practical for the job-seeker.
Author(s): Peter Nowalk; Hillary Stamm
Publisher: Workman Publishing Company
Year: 2008
Language: English
Pages: 209
City: New York, NY
Tags: Hollywood, PA, Production Assistant, Guide
INTRODUCTION
FADE IN
TAKE 1: DEVELOPMENT
Rule #1: The Graduate—Ditch Your Diploma
Rule #2: Requiem for a Dream—Put the Fantasy on Hold
Rule #3: Thelma and Louise—Network Is Your New Middle Name
Rule #4: The Deer Hunter—It’s Called a Job HUNT for a Reason
Rule #5: Career Opportunities—There Is No Magic Job List
Rule #6: Summer School—No Pay Is Often the Way
Rule #7: Field of Dreams—Make a Wish List
Rule #8: Wedding Crashers—Life for Free or Die Dirt Poor
Rule #9: The Money Pit—Love Where You Live
Rule #10: Cinema Paradiso—Stop Watching Old School on Repeat
Rule #11: Clueless—Homework Is No Longer a Dirty Word
Rule #12: Interview With the Vampire—Pimp Your Personality
Rule #13: To Sir, With Love—Don’t Forget to Say Thank You
Rule #14: Sophie’s Choice—Find a Mentor
Rule #15: Big Fish—Know Who’s Who
Rule #16: Risky Business—There Is No Silver Platter
THE TINSELTOWN TEST: TAKE 1
TAKE 2: PRE-PRODUCTION
Rule #17: Terms of Endearment—Thicken Up That Skin
Rule #18: 9 to 5—Being Awake Means Being at Work
Rule #19: What Women Want—Become Psychic
Rule #20: Phone Booth—Love Your Cubicle
Rule #21: The Ring—Be the Phone
Rule #22: The Conversation—Eavesdrop with Caution
Rule #23: Don’t Say a Word—Less Is More
Rule #24: When a Stranger Calls—Beware The Crazies
Rule #25: Friday the 13th—Keep a Clean Calendar
Rule #26: The Notebook—Write Stuff Down
Rule #27: The Silence of the Lambs—Bite Your Tongue
Rule #28: Brewster’s Millions—Expense Honestly
Rule #29: Driving Miss Daisy—GPS Now Stands for Great Production Secretary
Rule #30: Brokeback Mountain—Book Travel with Care
Rule #31: Body of Evidence—The Road to Success Is a Paper Trail
Rule #32: The Breakfast Club—Cater Out
Rule #33: You’ve Got Mail—Always Be in Touch
Rule #34: Cinderella—Add “Chore Whore” to the Resume
Rule #35: L.A. Confidential—Zip It
THE TINSELTOWN TEST: TAKE 2
TAKE 3: THE SHOOT
Rule #36: All About Eve—Make It About You
Rule #37: Fame—Please Don’t Touch the Celebrities
Rule #38: Mission: Impossible—There’s No Such Word as “Can’t”
Rule #39: Back to the Future—Befriend the Computer Geek
Rule #40: Miracle on 34th Street—Spend the Holidays Spending
Rule #41: Platoon—Recruit Your Own Intern Army
Rule #42: Dial M for Murder—Beef Up the Rolodex
Rule #43: Overboard—Act Up So the Boss Will Pipe Down
Rule #44: Pinocchio—Take the Truth Tonic
Rule #45: In the Name of the Father—Drop It Like It’s Hot
Rule #46: The Big Chill—Break Out the Break
Rule #47: Norma Rae—Fight the Power
Rule #48: Bride of Chucky—Love Your Boss’s Love
Rule #49: The Hand That Rocks the Cradle—Suck Up to the Satan Spawn
Rule #50: A Nightmare on Elm Street—You’re Not Curing Cancer
Rule #51: Ferris Bueller’s Day Off—Cutting Class Never Goes Out of Style
Rule #52: The Temp—Make Sure Temps Don’t Become Permanent
THE TINSELTOWN TEST: TAKE 3
TAKE 4: THE RELEASE
Rule #53: Get Rich or Die Tryin’—Embrace the Bling
Rule #54: Rudy—Fake It Till You Make It
Rule #55: Spy Kids—Get on Track
Rule #56: Fight Club—Make Love, Not War
Rule #57: Cruel Intentions—Beware the Overshare
Rule #58: Heathers—D-Girl Now Stands for Do-Girl
Rule #59: Pretty in Pink—Appear Clothes Rich Even if You’re Cash Poor
Rule #60: Body Heat—Get Off the Couch
Rule #61: Revenge of the Nerds—Don’t Be a Snob
Rule #62: Mean Streets—Stick with the Pack
Rule #63: Boogie Nights—Think Drink
Rule #64: Deep Throat—Flirt with Class
Rule #65: Cocktail—Don’t Overmix
Rule #66: The Godfather—Get an Entourage
Rule #67: Pulp Fiction—Supersize Your Confidence
Rule #68: Footloose—Think Before You Speak
Rule #69: Indecent Proposal—Avoid Boss Traps
Rule #70: Animal House—Party at Your Own Risk
THE TINSELTOWN TEST: TAKE 4
TAKE 5: AWARDS SEASON
Rule #71: Rebel Without a Cause—Cowards Go Home
Rule #72: Kiss of the Spider Woman—Beware the Words “Thank You”
Rule #73: Jerry Maguire—Make Them Show You the Money
Rule #74: The Grudge—Bury the Hatchet in the Name of Good Business
Rule #75: The Secret of My Success—Fail Up
Rule #76: Working Girl—Great Ideas Aren’t Cheap
Rule #77: Being John Malkovich—Surround Yourself with Good People
Rule #78: Young Guns—Work Your Magic Behind the Curtain
Rule #79: Unfaithful—Sometimes It’s Okay to Cheat
Rule #80: Basic Instinct—Go with Your Gut
Rule #81: As Good as It Gets—Celebrate the Small Victories
Rule #82: The Passion of the Christ—Pick an Egg Already
Rule #83: Gone With the Wind—Know When to Quit
Rule #84: St. Elmo’s Fire—Build Bridges, Don’t Torch Them
Rule #85: Rear Window—Look Back Fondly
Rule #86: Do the Right Thing—Be a Good Soul
THE TINSELTOWN TEST: TAKE 5
THAT’S A WRAP!
TALK THE TALK: A GLOSSARY OF HOLLYWOOD LINGO
AN INTERVIEW WITH TV’S MOST FAMOUS ASSISTANT
THANKS
AUTHOR BIOS
