Loneliness For Dummies

Title Page
Copyright Page
Table of Contents
Introduction
About This Book
Foolish Assumptions
Icons Used in This Book
Beyond the Book
Where to Go from Here
Help Us Assess How the Book Helps You
Part 1 Understanding Loneliness
Chapter 1 Loneliness and Why You Feel It
What Is Loneliness?
Transient loneliness
Chronic loneliness
Is It Loneliness Or Something Else?
Experiencing social isolation
Feeling lonely in a crowd
Suffering alone or enjoying solitude
Why Do You Feel Lonely?
An evolutionary perspective
Absence of meaningful relationships
Lack of belonging
Poor self-perception
Symptom of society
The Prevalence of Loneliness
International trends
Cross-country variations
Thinking about Ways to Overcome Loneliness
Snubbing the stigma
Awareness and acceptance
Knowing where to begin
Chapter 2 Who’s at Risk of Loneliness and How It’s Measured
Demographic Characteristics That Can Lead to Loneliness
Age as a factor
Loneliness in young adulthood
Loneliness in older adults
The role of gender
Sexual orientation as a factor
Ethnicity’s role
Disabilities and loneliness
How Personal Circumstances Influence Loneliness
Marital status
Health conditions
Being a caregiver
Social class and financial circumstances
Access to transportation
Life Events That Trigger Loneliness
Bereavement
Children leaving home
Having a baby
Divorce and separation
Moving house
Changed employment status
Changing educational institutions
Global disasters, pandemics, and violence
Measurement Tools for Loneliness
The UCLA loneliness scale
The De Jong Gierveld loneliness scale
Chapter 3 The Wide-ranging Costs of Chronic Loneliness
Personal Costs of Loneliness
Health impacts
Concerns for general well-being
Limited educational success
Stifling performance at work
Choking creativity
Costs to the Economy
Staff turnover
Absenteeism
Reduced productivity
Social prescribing for loneliness
Part 2 Creating Havens of Social Connection and Belonging
Chapter 4 Making Connections at Home
Moving In with a Partner
Scheduling time with one another
Introducing yourselves as a couple
Keeping other connections
Making yourself a local
Volunteering in your local community
Living with the In-Laws
Avoiding misunderstanding and conflict
Being open and honest with your partner
Making meaningful connections with your in-laws
Maintaining other relationships
Getting out of the house
Having and Raising Children
Sharing how you feel
Contacting support groups
Spending time with your partner, friends, and extended family
Engaging with the world beyond parenthood
Getting outside and staying active
Exploring new, meaningful activities
Managing as empty nesters
Acknowledging how you feel
Preparing and planning for life after the nest is empty
Remaining calm
Agreeing to expectations with your child
Strengthening connections with your partner
Embracing the peacefulness
Finding Yourself Trapped in a Lonely Relationship
Sharing your feelings
Making time to be together
Confiding in a friend of family member
Adjusting to Marriage by Arrangement
Making an effort to connect with your partner
Balancing who you spend your time with
Seeking support in your faith or in a local group
Experiencing Domestic Abuse
Finding support
Reaching out to other people
Seeking out psychological support
Reengaging with activities from the past
Creating a Connected Home
Bonding through food
Playing together
Scheduling date nights
Realizing the power of pets
Chapter 5 Belonging in Your Community
Feeling Disconnected in the Community
Rural retreats or city life
Type of housing
Neighborhood design
Crime and fear for safety
Bridging Gaps in Your Community to Encourage Belonging
Feeling accepted
Cultivating neighborliness
Connecting around shared interests
Sharing friendship through food
Harnessing Connectedness and Community in Public Spaces
Using green spaces
Conversing on benches and buses
Interacting in community facilities
Chapter 6 Finding Your Place at Work
What Is Workplace Loneliness?
Defining loneliness at work
Understanding the implications of workplace loneliness
Calculating loneliness in your workforce
The Influence of Workplace Culture on Loneliness
Alignment with your values
Demographics: Feeling you don’t “fit in”
Loneliness at the top
Impact of Employment Practices on Loneliness
Designing your workplace
Workplace 1: A lonely place to be
Workplace 2: A more socially interactive space
Working alone
Working remotely
Dealing with precarious contracts
Addressing Workplace Loneliness
Talking about loneliness at work
Lunching together
Volunteering through work
Taking advantage of peer support groups
Engaging with remote workers
Training and mentoring
Chapter 7 Interacting Through Technology
Using Technology to Find and Connect with Friends
Live phone calls and video chats
Text and voice messages
Social media
How social media can help against loneliness
Identifying which social media platforms to use
Friendship apps
Distracting Yourself with “Surrogate Relationships”
TV and streaming services
Radio and podcasts
Immersing in a Virtual World
Toying with virtual reality and augmented reality
Gaming
Social robots
Part 3 Dealing with Loneliness During Life Transitions
Chapter 8 Overcoming Bereavement
The Loneliness of Grief
Loss of companionship
Breakdown of your social network
When others move on
Losing your caregiving role
Changed sense of belonging
Practical obstacles
Dealing with Loss in Your Own Way (and Time)
Visiting death cafés
Talking to family and friends
Peer and bereavement support
Counseling and therapy
Journaling
Resuming Your Life
Getting out and about again
Challenging yourself
Making small steps to (re)connection
Chapter 9 The Loneliness of Health Conditions and Disabilities
Preventing Loneliness Due to a Physical Illness or Disability
Finding or creating outlets for support
Maintain contact with friends and family
Open up
Online or in-person support groups
Talk to a counselor
Exercise
Engaging in meaningful activities
Write a diary or journal of your experience
Create a bucket list
Explore YouTube
Accept yourself and your condition
Discovering ways to socialize
Online coffee lounges
Friendship and dating apps
Gaining paid or voluntary employment
Join social media groups
Peer Support
Get a buddy or befriender
Loneliness and Disabilities
Physical immobility
Intellectual/developmental disabilities
Sensory impairment
Inhibiting Disorders
Skin conditions
Urinary incontinence
Take control through planning ahead
Being prepared for accidents
Regaining intimacy
Serious Conditions
Cancer
HIV
Chapter 10 Understanding the Interplay between Mental Health and Loneliness
Common Mental Health Conditions
Depression
Talk to your family and friends and ask for help
Join a peer support group
Identify enjoyable activities
Engage in physical activity
Talk to a therapist
Visit your doctor
Managing anxiety
Cognitive Impairment
Dementia
Attending dementia cafés
Leaning on your family, friends, neighbors, and local community
Using technology for connection and safety
Reaching out to local dementia support groups, advisors, and “friends”
Dementia-friendly communities
Addiction and Eating Disorders
Alcoholism and substance misuse
Joining a Recovery Fellowship
Spending quality time with family and friends
Joining a local community group, club, or activity
Seeking professional help
Eating disorders
Building confidence in yourself and your body
Setting yourself a goal or challenge to achieve
Joining a local body-positive support group
Doing activities that you enjoy
Seeing a therapist
Chapter 11 Becoming a Caregiver
Knowing What to Expect as a Caregiver
Adapting to a caregiving role
Acknowledge that you’re a caregiver
Get as much information as possible
Make a plan so that you’re fully prepared for your caregiving role
Be open with the person you’re caregiving for about your needs
Talk to other family and friends about your caregiving role
Identify other caregivers like yourself whom you can confide in
Managing changing relationships
Understanding the Caregiving Role
Caregiving for disabled and adult children
Looking after your spouse
Caregiving for a parent
Adjusting To Life When Your Caregiving Role Ceases
Chapter 12 Making an Education or Employment Change
Facing New Educational Situations
Helping a child who’s starting school
Explain what to expect
Help your child connect
Communicate with your child regularly
Talk to your child’s teacher
Navigating a change of school
Seeking out like-minded people
Retaining links with old friends
Talking about your experiences
Going to college or university
Socialize with your housemates
Join a club
Attend your classes in person
Get out and explore
Volunteer or get a part-time job
Join social media groups
Make video calls to friends and family
Talk to a counselor
Starting Work or Changing Jobs
Adapting to workplace culture
Facing imposter syndrome
Making conversation with colleagues
Initiating meetups outside the office
Finding Yourself Out of Work
Finding good uses for your time
Keeping up your existing connections
Keeping your mind and body active
Accepting yourself and your situation
Facing Loneliness in Retirement
Plan for retirement
Move closer to family
Bonding with grandkids
Maintain and expand your social connections
Pick up a hobby, skill, or good cause
Part 4 Beating Loneliness
Chapter 13 Overcoming Loneliness Through Therapy or Healing Practices
Getting Therapeutic Support
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT)
How CBT works
Evaluating whether CBT is right for you
Interpersonal and Relationship Therapy
How Interpersonal and Relationship Therapy works
Evaluating if Interpersonal and Relationship Therapy is right for you
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR)
How EMDR works
Evaluating if EMDR is right for you
Developing Healing Techniques
Meditation
Exploring different types of meditation
Getting comfortable with meditation
Emotional Freedom Technique
How EFT works
Evaluating whether EFT is right for you
Self-hypnosis
How self-hypnosis works
How hypnosis works with a hypnotherapist
Getting started with self-hypnosis
Chapter 14 Developing Meaningful Relationships
Assessing Your Current and Past Relationships
Looking at your relationships chronologically
Understanding “meaningfulness” in relationships
Connecting with Like-Minded People
Identifying like-minded people
Reconnecting with people from the past
Strengthening existing connections
Making new connections
Helping Others
Volunteering
Helping a neighbor or local resident
Contacting charities or voluntary organizations
Volunteering in a healthcare or hospital setting
Local conservation, gardening, or “friends of” groups
Local grassroots sports club
Board of governors
Political party or lobby group
Volunteering at places of worship
Picking up litter
Peer support
Befriending
Chapter 15 Finding Meaningful Places
What It Means to Belong to a Place
Sense of belonging
Sense of place
Place attachment
Identifying with a Specific Place
Places of worship
Sporting venues
Sporting venues for spectators
Attachment to place as a sports participant
Open spaces
Enjoying a Sense of Belonging
Mapping your meaningful places
Testing the waters
Chapter 16 Building Resilience to Loneliness
Squashing the Stigma of Loneliness
Spreading the word
Having open conversations about loneliness
Discussing loneliness in the third person
Using sensitive and inclusive terminology
Being nonjudgmental
Avoiding assumptions
Contacting helplines
Raising awareness
Preparing for Life Transitions
Embracing change
Planning for change
Establishing goals
Remaining optimistic
Acknowledging your skills and abilities
Developing new skills
Finding a sense of purpose
Developing a strong social network
Accepting and nurturing yourself
Finding a sense of belonging
Being Loneliness-Ready
Changing the narrative
Facing your fears
Practicing self-compassion
Living in the present moment
Part 5 The Part of Tens
Chapter 17 Ten Tips to Break Out of Loneliness
Recognizing and Accepting Loneliness
Preparing for Life’s Transition Points
Building Your Social Network
Connecting to Others through Work
Engaging in Meaningful Activities
Visiting Familiar Places
Immersing Yourself in Green Spaces
Getting Active
Helping Others
Getting Therapeutic Support
Chapter 18 Eleven Suggestions for Young People
Prioritizing Face-to-Face Contact
Joining a Sports Group
Gaming Interactively
Connecting with Technology
Using Social Media Cautiously
Connecting Through Apps
Listening to Music
Getting a Part-Time Job
Becoming a Befriender
Letting People In
Spending Time Where You Belong
Chapter 19 Ten Pointers for Men
Showing Your Sporting Prowess
Becoming a Sports Spectator
Offering your Expertise and Skills
Connecting Through Work
Setting Yourself a Challenge
Going Outdoors
Gaming
Building and Creating
Talking to Other Men
Accessing Social Prescribing
Chapter 20 Ten Tactics for Later Life
Finding a Surrogate Relationship
Getting a Four-Legged Friend
Taking Up or Resuming a Hobby
Chatting by Phone and Video
Intergenerational Bonding
Accessing Support Groups
Getting a Befriender
Offering Your Services
Learning a New Skill
Visiting Meaningful Places
Appendix: Further Resources
Alcohol and Drug Misuse
Bereavement
Cancer
Caregiving
Children and Young People
Counseling and Therapy
Crime and Safety
Dementia
Domestic Abuse
Eating Disorders
Friendship Apps
HIV
Marital Issues
Mental Health Support
National Loneliness Responses
Obesity
Parkrun
Sexual Orientation
Skin Conditions
Social Prescribing
Suicidal Thoughts
Urinary Incontinence
Index
EULA